he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
