I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
