I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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