Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
