make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
