your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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