K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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