Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
