when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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