That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
