just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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