Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
