YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
