I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
