Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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