she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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