Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
