Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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