we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
