If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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