I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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