All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
