Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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