I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
