some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize