Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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