yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i would punch a child for taco bell
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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