He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
