Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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