is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
