i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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