Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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