I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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