So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
