She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
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I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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