Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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