Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize