Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
