He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
