what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
