check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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