The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
