So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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