And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
