i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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