PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You ruined the universe
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
