i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
