Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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