holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
