you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize