I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
