I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
