All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
