The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
