maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were trust falling into bushes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
