Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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