even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
