I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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