What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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