Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
